Day 15 – Maladicta

In the last few days I’ve met a couple of tourist couples who have really irked me. The first was a woman and her husband who came from Philadelphia. We got talking. First she complained about the weather. Then she complained about the snorkelling. Then she said that the trip I’d taken to Aitutaki wasn’t worth it, even though I told her it was heaven on earth and amazing.

When I got on my bus, I sat behind two of my fellow volunteers and told them that I’d met a woman from Philadelphia who was just complain, complain, complain. Unfortunately I didn’t see that the couple was seated right across the aisle from us. The husband said, “Are you from Philadelphia?”

Then today I tried to be helpful to another couple. We were in “town” and the clockwise bus was just about to leave. They wanted the anticlockwise bus, but it wasn’t leaving until 4:30. Being the helpful guy I am I said, if you take the clockwise bus you’ll likely get to your destination just as soon, plus you get a nice tour of the island. The husband said, “We’ve done that already and it was awful; the bus was full of people.”

The man had an accent, but I couldn’t quite place it – some former British Dominion in the southern hemisphere like South Africa, Australia, or New Zealand. He didn’t do much for Commonwealth relations.

If I had a prepared speech, I would take such people to task. “What were you expecting? Hawaii? It’s is the not Hawaii. It’s not all fake Tikis and air conditioning. You are in paradise and you’re too stupid to realize it.”

I won’t say such a thing to the unsuspecting crank. It’s not nice, although I do feel sorry for the islanders who have to put up with such. It’s great that the CI doesn’t like tipping? Then the paradisially challenged don’t have the satisfaction of not leaving a tip.

I have a big but. If I ever hear a Canadian saying anything bad about the Cook Islands, I’m going to tear a strip off them. At the end of my rant, I’m going to wound them to the quick. I’ll say, “You sound like you’re from Toronto.”


When I went down to catch the bus from school to the Kii Kii Motel, I thought, I should really use the washroom – I’ve got 7 minutes. Staff use the boy’s washroom, which is a treat in itself. However, I was efficient and even remembered to bring my tissue pack, as there is no toilet paper in any public place on the Islands. I marched out to the road and waited. After twenty minutes, the one day the bus is on time, I wasn’t on time. No matter.

I took the long way around on the clockwise bus and it was a nice tour of that part of the Island I hadn’t seen. With out any coordination, all five of us volunteers ended up on the same bus. By the way, I’m the “kid” of us five – nice for once.


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